Saturday, August 15, 2009

All the Hoopla

and celebration has my heart conflicted.

It's been a long time since my family has welcomed...well, anticipated, at his point... a baby into the family... we'll welcome our precious little one in January!

But never has my immediate family experienced such joy since the birth of his mother... Kristiina is an only child, and an only grandchild on my side. She's pretty spectacular...

...for more reasons than that...(!) but we'll stick with that for now ;-)

It makes me long for my dad. Mercy... in such a big way. His granddaughter was more than special to him, and he would have been beside himself with joy to welcome her son, his great grandson. If he were with us, he'd only be 65 now - very much able to share with that little one his joy, love, and knowledge. Oh, the knowledge... my dad was good at sharing life lessons! I remember them well, my husband remembers them well (from our dating years); of course, my brother remembers them well, and Kristiina remembers them well, I'll bet even Nic remembers them well. ...And we all remember them with loving admiration!

This is my dad, taken just a few months before he passed away, with Julian (and the ever faithful and loyal, Zoe). Julian is the grandson of one of my parents' dear friends from church. Little Julian knew my dad as Grandpa Jack. He was so sweet with him... Julian's eyes lit up a room when he saw Grandpa Jack.

How I wish those arms of my dad's could embrace my grandson, his great grandson.

{Sigh}, but that was not God's plan. So.... we carry on. And we hope that somehow, in that spiritual realm that we're confounded to understand, Grandpa Jack and our Baby DiOrio have made a connection and already established a loving relationship. It delights my heart to imagine it.

I heard this song today, Goodbye for Now, and it made me cry. It's been many months since I've cried over losing my dad, but today I did, again. Not so much because of loss, but because of hope. Praise God for hope.

I first heard the song when my cousin, Pekka, passed away several years ago; and it meant so much to me then.

Today, (though, not for the first time) I listened with ears turned toward my dad.

And I praise God that, through Jesus, we have the hope of an ultimate, eternal reunion. Pause the blog music, listen, and enjoy... and, of course... cry! - you won't be able to help it. Some of you knew him and will think of Grandpa Jack; and some of you will think of your own precious loved one who has gone on before you.... in either case, cling to the hope of forever.

Saying goodbye, again, but just for now.


KC said...

Hi Pam

It is so nice getting to share in this wonderful, blessed time with your family throught the magic of Facebook :-).

My Dad had been gone 10 years at the time the first of my grandchildren, Jacob, was born. I share the feelings you have. He was such a wonderful grandfather to my kids and loved them so much. I just knew how special he would think all 3 of my grandchildren would be, and how he would delight in the "red head", Miss Emma!

When Jacob was younger and we would talk of things that happened before he was born he would always ask " was I there?" "was I born yet?" At some point he came up with a phrase that we still use today " "Oh that must have been before I was born, when I was still in God's heart"

After he said that the first time it made me realize that indeed he had been in God's heart before he became God's precious gift to us and that knowing my Dad was in heaven ( he accepted the Lord a few days before he died) I knew that he had already met his PawPaw and that before I got to hug him that first time he had already been held by my father and that he had let him go knowing that soon he would join him again to spend all eternity with all of us.

So.... I imagine Grandpa Jack has already given the little guy lots of advice on how to handle the "girls" in his life, his much loved mom, his beautiful grandmother and ever young and loved greatgrandmother Cris. So when you hold him for the first time think of the fact that Grandpa Jack has already got him warmed up for you!

Enjoy the time with him, there is no way to describe the love you will feel... the child of your child, it is awesome!!


The Farmer's Wife said...

Oh, dear one...

My gramps died 3 years before my baby was born, and there was a hole in the family that is still ragged, although we are starting to be able to get through things without tears, slowly.

And I do still cry, missing him. Most recently, it was at our Dutton family reunion, when I kept looking for someone and realized it was Gramps. He's been gone 9 years, now, but he had that big a presence!

I'm comforted by the thought that Gramps met Maggie and Angus, before I did, even, in God's arms. I can see little bits of him in them, especially Angus, who makes serious little faces just like Gramps did, right before he gave a funny smile.

There's always a little salt with the sweet, isn't there? And happy and sad tears can mix and mingle, without anyone but us knowing.

Wish I could send you some hugs, and spend some time over a French press and blueberry muffins ;)....

Cris said...

Hello Sweet Pammy,

I'm sitting here still reminiscing and glowing having read this recent post of yours. Thank you for a beautiful remembrance of your Dad and for the tender, loving welcome to our little baby boy who will soon greet us all.

Brenda said...

....I love you

Brenda said...
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Brenda said...
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I'm a wife, mom, and grandma living in rural Vermont. I spend 40 hours of my week working outside my home and away from my garden, but am nevertheless passionate about healthy eating and sustainable living. By sourcing nutrient-dense food from local farms and avoiding processed foods, we are realizing how our over health is being impacted for the better. I’m excited to have you join me as I share what we’re learning and invite you to offer your insights in the comments. “…giving thanks in all circumstances…” 1 Thess 5:16-18